Life's High Seas 2

[bttrfly]

I decided to move over here from the MLC section as I haven't been trying to save my marriage for a long time now. I knew it at OM2 (the guy that gets Vegas prostitutes) but I needed more time. It felt really good to lean into the hopelessness and not think of it as bad. I had it backwards beating myself up with hope, I hope she wakes up, stops cheating, whatever else. She's not going to. I do wish her well but it's different.

Welcome to the dark side, lol. j/k.
All that you said about your ex ... I remember you going through it. I remember my exh doing his version of the same. I swear these people have a secret club and once they learn the super secret squirrel password and get the decoder ring, they also get a script because they ALL use the same tired, worn out, BS lines.

Trying not to talk about ex but I'm going to get this out too even though it was awhile ago. She started giving S gluten and they were hiding it from me. After how far he came with his ASD I couldn't believe it. She lied and tried to say she just started when I found out but so much clicked and I know it had been about a year. So she was teaching them to hide things from me like I'm crazy, and then if I do rightfully get upset it will get turned on me. We reintroduced dairy and he was okay but since she just did it herself I didn't have a chance to journal/have a baseline for his behavior so IDK if some of the problems during that time were related or not. Thankfully he seems to be doing okay with it.

Do you still have the guardian ad litem in place? This is NOT ok.

I still haven't had any relationships. It's kind of strange, it's not that I don't want one but I'm feeling lost and don't even know where to begin. I would love for my kids to have an example of a healthy relationship but I think I need to do more self work but when I am I good enough? I just don't feel like I have a lot to offer someone. Some days I know that isn't true and others I really seem to feel that way.

From what I can tell this part takes a while, and is different for everybody.