Very nice vacation visiting family, but good to be back home, kids are in school and we are settling into a schedule. Still working on the final details of a final agreement with W. My L says we may be able to have everything done and the judge may give his blessing by Thanksgiving.
My new home is coming together but lots of details left - empty wall space, need a rug for the living room, etc. My goal was to have this done already but life gets in the way sometimes. My new goal is to have everything done by the end of September so I can just enjoy the place.
I am in my 11th month post-BD and feeling really good. I continue to have zero thoughts of reconciliation. I can do much better than her. I won't ever give my precious limited time on this planet to someone who does not treat me well. I stuck with her for years and ground it out because we had kids together. She probably would say the same LOL. But what she might say doesn't matter to me at this point. I know my flaws, I know what I could have done better in responding to her shyt, I've done the work to figure that out and am still doing work on me. I'll never stop doing work on me, never again, that's my promise to myself and my kids and the eventual new lover in my life.
Even if I would have made every perfect move with my W I don't know that things would have worked out. I don't know that I could have stopped that nasty, snide, critical spew from her. She's always, according to her family, had that part of her personality. Whatever flaws I have, whatever mistakes I made, didn't create her issues. They pre-existed in her before she even knew I was alive.
So I am feeling great. I have been hitting the gym hard, which is a key element to my mindset. I've buffed up my wardrobe. Eating very healthy every day, drinking lots of water, very little sugar. Trying to get at least 7 hours of sleep. Digging back in at work, which was the one thing I was letting slip. Keeping my haircut short, getting to the Dr. and Dentist, staying on top of my health. Spending quality time with friends and getting out and about. Finances are in very good shape despite the pending D. And connecting deeper with my kids. Life is pretty awesome right now. I'm looking forward to getting out on dates soon. I think it will be this month or next when I get that going. Slowly! I think it's going to be really fun, I have high hopes and optimism. What a journey.
