There is no reason to go to counseling when she's in an A. It's beta behavior and degrading. The only point for going to counseling is 'if' and 'when' she wants to actually work on the relationship with a goal of reconciliation. Doesn't always end that way, but both feet have to be firmly planted in the process. I would go dark as possible, no contact as much as possible, and GAL my eyes out. Figure out your life, and give her space. Figure out your boundaries too.
