Further to my previous and your reply about your W's childhood trauma - wow, that is huge, and I really empathise.
IMHO, this may be the key issue. IMHO, with this type of serious unresolved childhood trauma and abandonment (particularly your MIL sweeping things away, which is huge) without addressing it, doing anything else may be like trying to fix a smoky engine by constantly replacing the muffler.
Can I suggest you look into EMDR therapy for your wife? Spare no expense in getting the best if you do. You are golden in having a W who is open to IC.
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
