I want you to accept a large truth in life- you don't know what she's thinking. Don't pretend you do, don't think you do, don't act like you do. If you want to know what someone is thinking then ASK THEM. That's what listening and validating is all about. Don't ever make assumptions, because I promise, you'll be wrong every time. ESPECIALLY if it's a woman you're making assumptions about.
And if you do ask while DBing, make sure you can emotionally handle what they tell you. Do not argue. You listen to understand.
^^^^ That is great advice. Despite everyone from there own experiences giving advice here, its just too bad that a lot of us here have to go through great losses, sometimes incremental tortue, day by day it feels like something else we had with this person we shared a life with gets taken away. Love, conversation, communication, homes, families, belongings, trust, honor, empathy, etc. It takes all this great loss to really learn how to listen, how to validate neutrally as if your own emotions were not at stake or involved. Kind of like if you were a good bartender or a friend. But once you get to that place, at least in my experience, once you are somewhat detached, you pull the pin on the F@$! IT grenade, and start living for you, start taking stock in yourself, start realizing your worth, your self respect yourself, and start rebuilding and focusing on yourself. You stop caring so much about your partner and your marriage, and realize you are going to be ok, Your life has a new chapter to write. That you can be happy for yourself again. Because you got yourself back. A new chance and a new opportunity to right the wrongs for yourself in your life, with new choices ahead.
