I reached out to my H to review the settlement to tell me what he didn't think was fair, and the visitation. He didn't respond so I asked him on the skype for work app.
Get used to the frustration on response time... unfortunately.
Originally Posted by LillyL
I told him that I'd prefer that he maxed out the time that they weren't in school and he agreed. I then said I think it'd be best if we meet somewhere neutral to explain to the kids what is going on since they will be seeing dad on visitation and not at "home," His BS response was if that's what you want.
...wtf! I don't even know what to say to that. Of course I don't want any of this, but it's not fair to the kids to mislead them...
This was over Skype? If so, Skype/text/etc are terrible communication tools. So easy to get triggered. You would like your H to agree with you on presenting a united front to the kids on communicating what is happening, sounds like he gave you a passive-aggressive response, but ultimately, he will do it, so chalk that up as a win and move on. Definitely don't respond to the little bait attempts like "If that's what you want..." Think of it like... he wants you to flip out because then it will further justify his own little story in his head of why he wants out. Show him you aren't going to take the bait.
I can't really advise on your response to your H, but I would consider waiting to respond, then wait some more. I don't know the legal implications on either topic. For instance, is he asking about S11's school out of genuine concern, or is he implying that you are making unilateral decisions without him and he is going to make a fuss about it?
