Thanks everyone. It is good to check in here - my question wasn't really to do with H - I see that when I read it back - but about me, and the healthiest way to live my own values and boundaries. I don't think I realised how much I've come on and grown until I re-read my last post and realised my intentions and hopes were really about myself, and not about having any particular effect on him. I want to be honest and have authentic relationships - perhaps one day with H. I also want to have good self protective boundaries and be selective about the people I trust. I am not letting H be emotionally close to me right now, though I do see him more often and we occasionally share a cup of tea together while going over our diaries and working things out re the kids. At times it feels like we're colleagues, or distant relatives. That is fine for now.
Blu - I never heard back from Dilly. Not 97Hope either. I think of them both very often. The three of us hung out here together and were probably as bad as each other in many ways (I mean that kindly and with a lot of self deprecation) and I feel the loss of their kind hearts posting to my thread.
Must catch up on other people's situations. It's been a while. Work has been busy and I find myself more and more involved with my own life, rather than examining the wreckage of my marriage. I think that's positive too.
