Life goes on

[kiro]

Hey Kiro, not sure whether to congratulate you or offer condolences on the D, LOL! So I'll ask instead, how are you doing? Did it affect you positively or negatively emotionally? I felt like it would send me spiraling, but instead I walked out of court and just breathed a sigh of relief. It felt like I could finally put it behind me and work on rebuilding my life. I hope it was the same for you!

Hi AS, thanks for asking. To be honest, the D itself didn't affect me at all negatively or positively. We had already agreed on everything with a mediator and submitted the paperwork back in the spring. The court's decision was nothing but a formality really. Maybe, the only relief was because there was always a tiny risk that the court could disagree with something in the agreement. I did actually discover 1 surprise; that the spousal support payments will be increased every year to account for inflation. It annoyed me for 1 day and then I just moved on


But I have to say that my struggles are not over yet. I am still working on rebuilding my life and rediscovering what I want to do. The toughest part is loneliness and boredom. I met a few other women during the past 6 months, but still haven't found the right person. Mentally, I know that I shouldn't rush into a new relationship before being ready and meeting the right person, but I really like company and don't enjoy being on my own all the time. I don't know how people do it.

I also think that I haven't gone through all the 5 stages of grieving properly. Apparently, I somehow had skipped the Anger stage, but had managed to go through the Denial, Bargaining, Depression and possibly even Acceptance. I am now feeling "soft" anger and contempt toward my ex, and I don't wish her a happy life. I'd like to say that I don't feel that way, but unfortunately I do.

That's really where I am... rebuilding my life slowly piece by piece one day at a time...