I really want her to know I still do t want this. Is there anything I can say or do? I know everyone always says don’t talk about the relationship but I want her to know I still don’t want this!!! Even if she knows I don’t want it I feel she needs to still hear it from me.
Wolf, here's the problem. She's done for now, so if you say anything she's just going to BD you all over again. But her feelings may change in a week or a month or a year, so you'll ALWAYS wonder if you should say something AGAIN, just in case her feelings have changed. But you don't need to say something, because if and when her feelings do change, SHE will seek YOU out. She's not going to change her mind and then sit at home saying "I wish wolf would ask again, because now I'm ready to reconcile." No, if she wants it she will make it quite clear to you.
At the end of the day you're probably going to say something anyway, because you can't stand not to. But you've got to have zero expectations, because it's not going to change anything. Paradoxically if you had zero expectations then you wouldn't need to ask. So don't ask, but if you ask have zero expectations, but if you have zero expectations then you won't need to ask
Originally Posted by IHCLACS
LISTEN TO ME. SHE DOESN'T CARE SHE DOESNT CARE. SHE DOESNT CARE!!! THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO OR SAY TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS. She wouldn't have given all of her actions and all of this thought and planning to go through with this if she wasn't emotionally prepared to. She thinks the grass is greener. She might be wrong or right. Only time will tell. Let her live with her choices if she no longer values you. Your self respect and dignity comes first in your life. Before your XW, before your family, before your children, all of it. It [censored], and I know you are hurting. I am too, but I want you to try and think about it this way... If your W can make your life a living hell with what she has done in recent times. If all those lines in the sand have been crossed, if she wants out.. disrespects you, buys you out of your castle that you worked on for her, your family, etc, treats you as disposable, is no longer attracted to you, is repulsed by you, is taking a means of legal action against you, etc... What else can she do to you? LET HER GO! DISMISS HER. FOCUS IN YOUR OWN PRIORITIES, TAKE YOUR POWER BACK!
