No worries Steve. Just after reading maikas post, I’m wondering if there’s unresolved childhood traumas that subconsciously drive her behaviour? If there’s one thing I learned since my bd is unresolved childhood trauma is sometimes the key. What’s the childhood story behind her. I self searched and reckon 90% of my behaviour is learned from childhood. I had no idea whatsoever before I found out and looked. Look to her childhood. Talk to her about this if this is possible. Read up about subconscious and preconscious behaviour. If she can’t control it it’s because she doesnt know the source. It’s worth a shot if you haven’t looked at this angle. Good luck
Oh yes. Lots of childhood trauma here. An emotionally and physically (and sexually) abusive father to her mother, her father was emotionally abusive to get through college. Her step father propositioned her for sex when she was 19 and home from college for the summer, and then get mother wanted to sweep it under the rug and not deal with it. Some other smaller ones but those are the big ones.
She did get into IC when we were in our first couple of years of marriage. The IC was terrible, and she got very little out of it. It left a bad taste in both our mouths related to Cing. She transitioned into a support group for women and she got a lot more out of that! But then she got pregnant and that died out. Maika nailed it that since then she had been a mom, that's been her identity.
This is why I'm going to insist on IC. My only ask was a promarriage, Christian-based IC. The one 19 years ago was secular.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
