There are obviously many nuances and we don't get to see what you see. I am glad to see a more strong and pragmatic approach on your part.
One of the things that I saw when you came on the board is that your W never really got to the end of the line of her fantasy and being a WW. Both times previously it was short circuited and there is potential for things to change when that happens. But as others have pointed out, you have done all the work since you got here and she barely has. I feel that she's gotta either go to the end of the line with her fantasy and see what's there, or get into IC and address her WW tendencies. There is a lack of depth in her life for herself and I fear that it may have to do with self-love, self-acceptance, and understanding her place as a woman in this world, not just a mother.
I did have a radical suggestion of what you should do, but I fear that it isn't something I would even be able to do despite our differences when it comes to religion and its place in your life.
Ultimately it comes down to her doing the work for herself and you keeping your boundaries.
All I know is that our lives are paradoxically short and long, as we have to hold both contradictory perspectives to have a meaningful fulfilling life, and I know that I wouldn't want to spend those times with someone who wasn't going to be present with me. As Blu mentioned, I believe you are looking for fulfillment. I hope you can figure out how to find it. DB is great in terms of tactics and strategies, but we have to take a macro perspective on what kinds of relationships we want and what's worth investing in.
We humans have a tendency to double down on sunk costs and a long R is a sunk cost, which makes it difficult to walk away. It is good to hear that you are maneuvering past that and showing some readiness to walk away if it comes down to it.
Maika, I'm always open to listen to other perspectives. Ultimately I want to be happy. Obviously I will not compromise on my principles, but I'm more than happy to always listen. So what is this suggestion?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
