Thank you Gerda for offering to write that letter to my daughter, I think she’ ok now without it.
DejaVu it was hard to read your message. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I so hope that it won’t be the case with my husband.
So now my husband has been home for a month, exactly. From that month he was travelling alone for 15 days, which was hard on me. Now that he’s home my insecurities are starting to rise up, with everything. Even when he goes to work and I don’t hear from him, I get insecure. To try to alleviate the situation, I actually went away with him last week when he had to go on a business trip. It did us so good. We were alone without the kids and were able to communicate about a lot of things. Kind of got the ball rolling so to speak.
He still has a hard time remembering what he has said or even sometimes done during the spring. He’s being very honest with me, which is something we agreed on, brutal honesty even when it hurts. Actually cost me one of my good friends.
He told me they had been messaging each other during the spring. And at the same time this “friend” was comforting me when I was sad. She never told me anything about this. So I confronted her and she placed all the blame on my husband. But when she has also been actively participating, trying to arrange a meeting so they could have sex, I think she’s just as much to blame as my H. Good riddance. And even though I am hurt by my H actions, it kind of goes to the same bucket as everything else in the last 7 or so months.
He has apologized so many times. He says he is having a hard time forgiving himself and will not ever hurt me like this again. I do want to believe him, at the moment it’s still hard. A lot of scars. It’s amazing how many emotions I have coming up now. I think I might have been suppressing some of them earlier.
We have talked about everything and anything. Sometimes he asks for a timeout if it gets too much and then we take a pause. I think so far it has worked well. I am sometimes worried that he is having a hard time looking in to the mirror, but then at times he shows that he knows what he has done wrong. I don’t know, it’s harder than I imagined.
She has moved out of their apartment and he has blocked her numbers, emails and social media.
It is hard to talk about it, because sometimes I ask questions and then when he answers, it hurts. So I try to think really hard and well what do I really want/need to know.
He did notice my 180’s immediately, and says he was always so surprised because I was always so nice to him. Divorce busting really, really works. Thank you all for helping me with it. <3
On BD Me 39 H44 D14 D12 S10 M19 T19 BD 3/19 Separation 3/19 H filed for D 4/19
