I had been in trust but verify mode for the last year and half. If you read my threads you'll see that I snooped a few times. This was the first time I found something. To your point, I was a little more suspicious this time than the times before when I found nothing though.
Also, her "this makes my happy" defiance was the on the night I confronted. After that she was admitted it was wrong and she shouldn't have been engaging in that. She has since, in our long discussion, said she knows that isn't what married women should do. So to be clear, in her defensive stance the night I confronted, she said that, but then backed off on that. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. In the heat of our sitches we don't always do a great job of conveying the nuances.
Finally, I put no rules in place. I've said from the beginning that I have no desire to try to control her, nor the desire to be constantly policing her. The rules in place she self-imposed. My only boundary here is for me. If it comes to my knowledge that she's engaging in EA behavior again then I'll take appropriate action.
I mentioned IC last night as we were going to bed. I'm not giving up on that boundary either. If she doesn't get into IC soon then I'm going to consider what happens next.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/03/1909:42 AM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
