Life’s good. In a good place. Just hoping to get some answers. W has expressed to me that she wants to reconnect. I just don’t know how much I buy into this.
I do think that my filing has some what made her realize she will lose me. Since I filed there has been a large increase in texts, phone calls and requests to spend time together: with and without our son.
She has requested counseling and said that we should have been doing counseling this whole time. She has admitted guilt that moving out was the wrong choice and that denying my request for counseling was the wrong choice.
She intends on quitting her job soon, where her new group of party friends/enablers work.
I feel that these are all good signs but I am very very skeptical on how serious she is on this matter. When she has inquired about the divorce, I have held my ground that I will not live in an open marriage and that D is the right choice if we are not actively working on the M.
For me to consider taking her back I believe that I have a pretty specific list on what I am looking for out of her actions: no late night partying and drinking, remorse (which she has shown) and admittance that her decision was wrong (which she has some what admitted) I am also looking for positive changes in her, which I am still observing. She was heavily codependent on me during our previous R, and things would need to be different. She has developed a group of girlfriends which is a positive when considering codependency but I am unsure if they will be a positive influence on her. Some of the friend are definitely enablers but some are wholesome people so if she were to only spend time with the positive influences I would be happy.
The advice I am hoping to receive: how do I handle this? Do I treat it like a new relationship and accept her invitation to go on dates? Do I stop the LRT and start building a friendship again? Do I continue with LRT and push the D through?
My current position is that I don’t want to jump right in. If anything I would want small amounts of contact in person so I can gauge her seriousness on reconnecting.
I am very pro family and think that my son deserves to have his parents together but only if it could be a happy, growing relationship. And as done with the BS as I was, I would hate to deny an actually attempt at R on her part as my morals have been focused on fixing a relationship as opposed to giving up, that’s why I am here obviously. I admit I was not equipped with the skills to handle and work on a long term relationship. I would like to think that I am now and have learned many of the skills required.
