Your desire sounds similar to the first-couple wife in PM (Karen?). Her sexual desires were tied to her fantasies, and not just about her H. I thought it was interesting how they incorporated her H in the process.
Mike
Oh no, not like her.. I read that part and it didn't fit me at all. Maybe for solo, though even then I'm more likely to replay actual events from the past. But I can be having a normal day, going about life, and then see a hottie, or have someone do or say things, that just get my juices flowing. When I was still M, if it was getting sort of hohumish in bed, I'd just mentally relive a better time, and my mind would get my body following.
I was flabbergasted at Karen's stuff.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
For my W, every sexual encounter has to be a cry-at-the-end connection. There is no such thing as fun sex. Consequently, little variation is possible. It's always been "prove that you love me while I remain uninvolved and unenthusiastic" sex.
It leaves me feeling unloved and pathetic. (Not too differentiated, huh?)
Quote: Sorry SecondChances, I called you Mojo! You need to teach me to sing although I might get annoyed after a while. SD
SD, actually I was not much of a tomboy. I like being female. Momma says I have too much testosterone, but I was never a tomboy. Motorcycles? I'd rather ride on the back and let the man drive. No body contact sports, besides sex, appeal to me. I do ride horses--
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
Quote: For my W, every sexual encounter has to be a cry-at-the-end connection. There is no such thing as fun sex. It leaves me feeling unloved and pathetic. (Not too differentiated, huh?)
Fun sex would be heaven!
Mike
My H was the same way. He was horrified when I tried to convince him that sex did not have to be so serious, that it could just be fun and feel good. Actually, I had the poor judgement to suggest that sometimes I just wanted to F, not ML... that was a huge mistake.
I love the PM chapter on doing, being done and f-ing. Just reading it made me feel like at least one person understood what I wanted, and that therefore the possibility exists that there are more people in the world who would agree. It's better than just being condemned for being horny, wanting sex....which is all my wasband did.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
SC wrote: Actually, I had the poor judgement to suggest that sometimes I just wanted to F, not ML... that was a huge mistake.
I love the PM chapter on doing, being done and f-ing. Just reading it made me feel like at least one person understood what I wanted, and that therefore the possibility exists that there are more people in the world who would agree. ___________________________
I couldn't agree more. It was the first chapter I read in PM.
But why was it a mistake to say that you sometimes wanted to F instead of ML? (BTW, the F word is my W's real hot button. The morning after we married, we woke up and I said, "Good morning. I love you. I've waited all my life to be married to you. Want to F?" That's when she introduced me to our two most important words: NO and PERVERT.)
But why was it a mistake to say that you sometimes wanted to F instead of ML? Mike - pervert
Evidently this was proof that I was a whore, pervert, somehow way less than he thought I was. I think he was pretty uncomfortable with me liking sex, once he was sober enough to think about it.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
Mike: You and I would get along just great, dude. This is a classic:
Quote: The morning after we married, we woke up and I said, "Good morning. I love you. I've waited all my life to be married to you. Want to F?"
I think I said something like that the first time I ever had sex. After literally hours of foreplay, the "act" lasted about 30 seconds, and, before either one of us had caught our breaths I said, "That was great. Let's do it again!" Sex is supposed to be fun.
Hairdog - who would buy Mike a beer, but he lives too far away.
SC, Let me make sure I've got this right. He was drunk, but got mad at you because you liked the sex? How much emotional connection could he have liquored up?
You should have said, "You were terrible! Try it sober and keep trying until you get it right. Forget about ML until you can F better."
Mike - who thought men just wanted W to show up naked with food...or...forget the food, get naked and we'll order in
PS to hairdog: Thanks for the offer of the beer, but I don't drink. It impairs me sexually. Well, it would if I ever had sex, I mean.
