Do I need to tell her "I don't want this, but I know I can't change your mind. I'm not going to obstruct you." Or something to that effect? I want to save the M, but she is so stubborn and has given up. I would still fight for it.
Nope, she knows already, just send them back sans message. Move on with your life as much as possible. You don't want to create barriers to her returning but you don't need to place giant billboards stating "TURN HERE NOW FOR LIFELONG LOVE". For this to work she has to believe that there is something about you that she hasn't seen before and you being what you have always been won't do that. GAL. Take a dancing class. Take that scotch-tasting trip you've always wanted to but she wasn't interested in so you held off (and resented, most likely). Enroll in a history class. Take yoga. Whatever it is, GAL.
One other thing I did that I can say was a mistake - I laid everything out to my W's parents (against the advice on this board). I was hoping that they would see that, while I was the "bad guy", I wasn't a demon. Regardless of whether or not I was successful it did not help my sitch and they are essentially not talking to me (probably because I stopped assisting with the divorce process). So, if you are having urges to tell her friends or family that you've changed, resist them. I can't say that my sitch would be better if I hadn't said anything but it wouldn't be worse. Our W's have demonized us, all they see is darkness. Only time and being different (i.e. disrupting their narrative) will change that.
M(35), W(35), D(4) M-9, T-12 Bomb Drop (D announcement) - May 3, 2019 W moved out Aug 13 House sold Sept 25 Papers signed Nov 15 Divorce finalized Dec 12
