Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Thanks DV6

Yes, I know I have to sit tight at this point. This is so counter-intuitive that it's not even funny. I want to call him up or text but I know I can't. I feel like we are at a crucial tipping point-that really I think (here I go mind reading) that he does want to recommit-but he's scared-I agree. He has even said that once or twice as in "what if we reconcile and we are in the same boat 2 years from now?". I think he is also aware that I will be asking him to come to counselling with me-and he's always been resistant. I know I've said my piece, he's well aware of where I stand, including that I don't want the old marriage back. My gut still says he's coming back, but I can't force him or tell him how to think. I'm holding onto when his sister said "If you're done, say you're done" and he wouldn't.

I do think, knowing him as I do, that if he decides to recommit, it will be an authentic, full-fledged promise. He doesn't do these things lightly, and as I said to his sister last night "he's a slow processor!".

I may end up posting rambling journalling tonight-I'm already feeling very anxious, and anything to avoid reaching out to him. Home, play with dog, hot tub and bed will be the plan, but there may well be 2 am posts, and I can't promise they will make a lot of sense.

Will keep you all posted. Wish me luck.