It's been a couple of weird days. The other night while I was going through some things in my apartment to get ready for the kittens, I found a few emails that I kept from XW that were written around the time she left. Boy, I had forgotten how mean she was towards me...I mean REALLY FREAKING mean. I had forgotten some of it and was just dumbfounded by not just her anger, but her coldness. So very cold. Or, maybe I'm just seeing it with new eyes now that I've changed and so much time has gone by? It's hard to imagine that someone who said all those terrible things and treated me the way she did, someone who was so cold actually loved me at one point. What happened?
oh, boy can I relate. I ask that question about my exh too.
Originally Posted by tadpole1025
Anyways, I threw them out. Don't want to read them again and wish I hadn't found them.
Still kind of hurts though.
Even after all this time.
Wish I knew what happened to the wonderful girl I fell in love with. I can still look back at the times we had early in our marriage or when we were dating. Seems like a lifetime ago. The memories are there, but they are starting to fade I'm afraid.
yes. yes. yes. and boy do I wish I knew what happened to the guy I married. I miss him. He's vastly different from the guy who divorced me.
Originally Posted by tadpole1025
Also, today would have been our 34th wedding anniversary. THIRTY FOUR YEARS. It's funny, if she hadn't jumped on the crazy train, I'd still be there.
{{{{{{{Tad}}}}}}}
yeah, i'd still be there too. miserable, but hanging on. our 25th wedding anniversary was in July and the 30th anniversary of our first date in June. We were a couple who still celebrated our first date. When I think about it ... well, it's better not to do that.
p.s. you're going to be a wonderful furbaby daddy
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
