I've spent the last week or so getting ready for my new fur babies. I'm adopting two kittens from the Arizona Humane Society on Tuesday. I'm a little nervous about it, but excited too. I've never had two cats of my own before...I've never even liked cats until the "new" me came around after the divorce. I hope I can be a wonderful daddy to them.
It's been a couple of weird days. The other night while I was going through some things in my apartment to get ready for the kittens, I found a few emails that I kept from XW that were written around the time she left. Boy, I had forgotten how mean she was towards me...I mean REALLY FREAKING mean. I had forgotten some of it and was just dumbfounded by not just her anger, but her coldness. So very cold. Or, maybe I'm just seeing it with new eyes now that I've changed and so much time has gone by? It's hard to imagine that someone who said all those terrible things and treated me the way she did, someone who was so cold actually loved me at one point. What happened?
Anyways, I threw them out. Don't want to read them again and wish I hadn't found them.
Still kind of hurts though.
Even after all this time.
Wish I knew what happened to the wonderful girl I fell in love with. I can still look back at the times we had early in our marriage or when we were dating. Seems like a lifetime ago. The memories are there, but they are starting to fade I'm afraid.
Also, today would have been our 34th wedding anniversary. THIRTY FOUR YEARS. It's funny, if she hadn't jumped on the crazy train, I'd still be there.
Enough for now.
Tad
Currently: M 57 XW 58 Sons 39,34,32,30
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
