"Dropping the rope" is extremely difficult. I've found it very hard.
The lyrics of Toto's Rosanna come to mind - "Never thought that losing you could ever hurt so bad".
I'm quite a romantic so envisage everything working out, regardless of what's happened. Always have, even with past girlfriends who now I'd avoid like the plague and have zero affection for now.
My W has filed for D. I received the papers yesterday evening in the post. I have been trying to GAL as much as possible. When I last saw her on 17th Aug, she commented "so life's good for you then?" I tried to answer "yes" in a happy and upbeat way. I think she looked annoyed. She didn't press it though.
Dan - you put the above in another thread, but I thought I would respond here.
Dropping the rope doesn't happen overnight. It's one of those paradoxical things, too, where you have to stop trying in order for it to happen.
You're going through the grieving process. It's hard to DB and grieve at the same time. Hang in there and things will get better, I promise. Early on it's normal to be frustrated about how DB is going, because you are also dealing with a lot of emotional flooding.
What you call romantic sounds an awful lot like NGS. I'm the same way, for instance I always liked tying things off neat when I broke up with XGF's (instead of just being honest and telling them the truth). Stuff like that.
I think what's most important early on is just committing to the DB process and following the guidelines. Eventually, you will find your emotional center and this will come more naturally. Early on in my situation I wasted a lot of energy worrying that I was emotionally ping-ponging all over the place, rather than just accepting it as part of the process, believing it would pass, and in the meantime doing the best "fake it til you make it" impression that I could.
