Well mostly I’m at work. I don’t get home till 5:30. But I just verified where she was. (Not asking). It was all innocent. Strangely. I didn’t feel all uppity. Just like eh whatever
The toughest part of being in limbo is controlling your mind and detachment. Every time she's late, texting, buying new underwear your mind is going to think the worst. The best thing to do is keep yourself busy so you don't realize she is doing these things.
As for the back rubs, I would back off until she makes a gesture towards you. Since you have taken the pressure off she is more willing to receive these gestures from you but for a true reconciliation she has to be willing to extend the favors.
The scan is wed the 4th. I’m not looking forward to it. It’s nerve wracking. The only cool deal about it (aside from good news from the doctor hopefully) is that my MRI is at the chiefs training facility!! I get my scans where the players practice. Then I spend my downtime waiting for the results at the pro shop in Arrowhead. I do love my Chiefs
I agree stop with the rubs, she needs to want you and she knows you definitely want her. Think back to when you starting dating how much she was probably all over you. It might never be that way again but she needs to desire you and want to please you.
So I’ve been giving nightly back rubs. Which I think she enjoys.
You "think" she enjoys them? I bet she doesn't. If she enjoyed them you'd know it. My XW would moan and whisper how good it felt, until after BD and then it could best be described as "tolerance" until I got the point and quit doing it.
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We haven’t ML again yet. I hope I’m not doing too much.
100% no doubt in my mind you are doing too much. Way too much.
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She has also brought up a couple small things about how I’ve changed and then said “It’s kina been 10 years I’ve been asking for this stuff”.
What she is telling you is "it's too little too late".
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Which I don’t have a very good reply to just off the handle to when she asked why I had finally changed
thoughts?
Your response should be "I realize now that I have some things to work on and I am working on them to be a better person." IE, you're doing it for you, not her. If you're doing it for you it's real, if you're doing it for her it's tricks to get her back.
Originally Posted by ozman
So this is the third day in a row she is really late from work
What are her ACTIONS tell you? Sounds to me like she's avoiding being home with you. Why? Probably because you are applying way too much pressure.
Good luck with the MRI, I hope it's all great news!
she does moan and say how good it feels. Let’s her head droop and closes her eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t have said “think”
On doing too much, I think your right. I thought I was supposed to be doing more of the insignificant touching. (Hand On back when walking by). That kind of thing. Maybe I should back off some?
Her response did sound like too little too late TBH. It also sounded like a question. Like “why did you wait until now?!?”
Her late from work was verified as having to stay late from an outside source
Thanks for the MRI well wishes. I’m ready to get it over with. I hate this time of year
R2C
I don’t know what to work on. I have a hard time figuring these things out
doing more of the insignificant touching. (Hand On back when walking by). That kind of thing. Maybe I should back off some?
Just do it when it is natural. Do not go out of your way to do it.
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R2C
I don’t know what to work on. I have a hard time figuring these things out
That is why I ask.
Maybe focus on balancing time in these 3 core areas:
1) being dad (one on one with son) 2) Being OZ (time doing things you want/need to do) 3) Being husband (Doing things to improve R with W : in a non-needy way)
As far as #3, focus on being attractive. Do not be Too avaliable, but make and break contact. over and over and over. Give her space. Wait for her to initiate sex (It might be a long wait, or it could happen tonight). Review this thread:
