since she is married on paper, these are not R's she was in. Since at least one of them predated your separation and because you're married, they are indeed affairs. Don't validate them by calling them R's.
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I’m conflicted between confronting her and moving forward with D, giving her the choice to commit or initiate D, or continue NC. I have to say that NC is the least appealing to me right now. I much prefer a decision and movement in either direction.
It's almost is you're saying you need something that many here have been saying you need: TIME & SPACE. How can you know what to do, how can you make this big decision based solely on emotion, without giving yourself time to think and heal and grow? How can you think and heal and grow without space from her? How can you get space from her when she comes over and tells you sob stories, feeds you breadcrumbs, and prances around on her horse?
I know you're thinking that it's a step in the wrong direction. But she doesn't care about you or how she hurts you, so you must protect yourself.
Plan some fun social events for Curtis this weekend. You need some time out with friends and no kids or W talk.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
