Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Thanks DV!

Yes, I need to not look at the tracker. Since it's been off for over 2 months (since DB), but on again for the past week and not really showing him doing much-I did wonder if it was a way to show me what he was/or wasn't doing. But you're right, I can't read his mind, so off it goes. And really, now that he's not with me, he doesn't need to meet people clandestinely in parks. He can go to their house!

Re: OW. This is part of what I find strange. short recap-he emotionally checked out of marriage 2 years ago. We'd (well, me) had been having a horribly stressful 5-6 years what with cancer/mother with severe dementia/dad with mild dementia/bills/working overtime thanks to said bills etc. I found out after DB that he'd been messaging a "workfriend" and going for drinks and to the range with her. He was flirting on his messages, she wasn't really responding. She has a boyfriend. I think he had this fantasy that if he dumped me, he could hook up with her. This is a small town, H is with his sister and BiL and they both swear up and down that the affair is over. And that he doesn't have anyone else, but that he is "confused" and "thinking things over". He swears she "was just a friend and it got crazy and it's over". Sure. Baloney. I think he got crazy.

According to all his family-he goes to work, goes to the gym, goes biking and comes home. In the past couple of weeks with the tracker-that really does look like all that is happening. But who knows really. I'm steeling myself for a PA as I'm sure he's out there shopping around (although again, family says he went out one night to the bar, came home and said "that was boring"). He's 60.

And you're right, no OW, or there is OW, my approach should be the same. Even though he says things like "even if we reconcile the farm is too much" he also said "neither one of us can buy the other out" so he's all over the map. I was wondering what to do about those small openings..really though, I need just validate what he's saying (and I'm pretty bad at validation right now). Thinking back on yesterday, I let some chances slip by.

I think what really, really is getting me is that he's living the life-he's gal'ing better than I am! No responsibilities to our property up here,and probably few at his sister's. Doesn't have to shop/cook/clean can just do what he wants. In the meantime, I'm up here paying bills, prepping the house and property for sale, rebuilding the demolished bathroom (and he won't even commit to doing the plumbing!) and taking care of everything. That's not GAL, but it is galling! (I live for the bad pun) It's a lot like our marriage was, actually.

So he's off being 18, and I'm the adult. How is he even supposed to begin missing me under those circumstances? Back I go to LRT.