Everything’s going well. Still making new friends. Hockey team won the championship. Motorcycling with my roommate and brother a lot. Work is also going very well.
So I think my last post touched on the pursuit my W is making toward me which I have done good to avoid. Had an interesting conversation over text. She’s been texting almost daily now usually non important stuff or things related to S. She has ramped up the amount of offers, asking to cuddle or get food together. Today started like that and she got no reply from me, because she didn’t ask a question and I didn’t think what she said warranted a response. A bit after my no reply she texts:
W: this is crazy are you sure we should be doing this? This is literally crazy. Me: doing what? W: the divorce Me: well yes, I told you I wouldn’t live in an open marriage. W: this is crazy, are you sure we should really divorce? Me: we aren’t together so I don’t really see the point of staying married. W: no you’re right but we should have been working on it Me: I guess but you left W: you shouldn’t d have let me leave, we should have been going to counseling this whole time Me: I told you I didn’t agree with your choice and thought you were making a mistake W: it was really selfish of me and I have to live with that. But we should have gone to counseling. Me: (reminded her that I had asked to go to counseling and she denied) W: I know, I don’t know what I was thinking. Should we try to work on it?
At this point I told her I would need to think about things as I wasn’t really prepared for this question.
I have many reservations about this. One of the main ones being that: yes she did show some remorse but in some of her writing if she is trying to place blame on me for her leaving, which I’ve read is not good. Otherwise, I loved who my W used to be, but I don’t think she is herself again, I don’t really know though as I haven’t spent time with her and I always cut our conversations short. (She mentioned this and said that she was trying to connect with me through taking.) This could have been the case but then I am wondering, wouldn’t trying to reconnect be more than just talking more again?
Anyway not really sure what to do/ how to approach this. I don’t really know what I want. If W was back to her old self and fully out of WWness I would want to give it a try. If she is still WW or behaving in this new mannner since BD then I am simply not interested in her.
This was the first time she has mentioned remorse, although it didn’t seem like much, she did accept that it was her fault moving out and that it was a bad idea.
I would love some advice from you guys on how to approach this. Currently I am not really concerned with it because my life is pretty awesome as is and right now she is far from the top of my list of priorities. Funny to think how a week after BD I would have been thrilled to hear her talk like this and now I’m just indifferent to it. Like I feel that any outcome is fine and nothing would change all that much for me.
