Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Well, after such a great day, here I am feeling very anxious. Why? because of that stupid tracker-apparently he's down at a local park and has been for 1.5 hrs. In the dark, but there is a lighted parking area. I know he runs/cycles, but really it's 10PM. If he was with someone, would he be at the park? Who knows. I don't know ,right? It changes nothing right? If the tracker still shows him there after 11 pm, I know it was just turned off...it gets bumped and turns itself off.(or he does it deliberately) I need to stop looking at the plotter.

Except...I was just pondering this-if there is no OW, (and according to his family, there isn't, but I expect there will be one day, and I am never going to ask him unless he talks about wanting to reconcile) does it change my approach from more dim/LRT'ish to something a little warmer? Start conversations? I think until I know what is going on, I need to stay dim, correct?

And here I was earlier thinking "well, that conversation went well"....Aaargghhh just when i think I get it together, I spin. so much for DB'ing like a madman! At least I haven't driven down to the park to see who is there-2 months ago, I would have.

Now he's moving. What the heck. His old EA was working today until 7PM. (she works an opposite schedule as the boss broke them up). I hate this. I really do just want to hit him with a 2x4 and say "wake up"!

thanks for listening guys, I need to vent that anxiety. But if there is no other woman, and it's me vs. whatever fantasy he has, should I be warming up a bit? I'm friendly now with conversation, I try to keep text short, sweet and only about house or financial issues.