Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Hi DejaVu6:
another BC'er! I'm in the interior. NS has always been on my bucket list, in fact a cross country by train trip ending at NS has been high on the list. Finally the stars are aligning....girlfriend is there, not going on vacation with H, and have some money! Away I go.

So he was up this morning, fixed the things he said he was going to fix. I was pleasant, even kind of happy-when I'm happy I hum or whistle, and there i was, humming and whistling away. He was kind of terse when he first came up, then relaxed and talked for about an hr on back deck, about finances, house renos etc. He looks stressed, I'm feeling great! He started talking the sep. agreement and buying each other out-which neither of us can afford to do. i said something about the divorce/separation and then said "but you know how I feel about that-I should write it on a 2x4 and hit you with it!" We actually laughed about it. He made comments about "even if we do get back together, the farm is just too much". and I said "yes, and a house shouldn't break up a marriage-it can always be sold". We actually talked about the animals, moving to town, I stopped the conversation by saying "wait, you wanted 6 months before we talked about things so..."
He keeps bringing up the house/farm. It feels like it was the "OW". Except now that he's not here, I'm finding it pretty easy to keep going. With H not really contributing in the past couple of years-I can feel what an anchor he'd actually become. I'm rapidly developing a list in my head of what needs to happen for potential reconciliation.

Then he said "you should take the train back from NS" and discussed where and what I would be doing there. The Citadel/wineries/beaches/Peggy's Cove. He sounds kind of jealous actually.

I do think the possibility of a reconcile is on his mind. His approach has always been oblique ie: "how does a guy know if he should ask a girl to marry him"...if I may quote. So I take sideways conversations as a bit of a feeler.

Not getting hopes up at all. Continuing to GAL. I think I'm DB'ing like a madman!