Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Thanks to you both. I'm working hard on detachment. Hopefully I can manage to not be triggered when he comes up. He made a point of telling me "he was going to take the dog and/or stay overnight, but now he's made plans to go to the range". I will not let my mind ask "with who"

I have the elastic band on the wrist, as a visual. If I feel I'm being triggered-3 deep breaths, and if still triggered, walk away. That's the plan!

Even though the messages are mixed, the feeling I'm still getting is he's gone. I think the helpful things he is doing is because of guilt. But again, I shouldn't try to read minds, correct?

Going kayaking later with friends-will make sure kayaks are out and in truck before he gets here! And then, maybe I can leave earlier-before he does.

its hard to not overtthink all that MLC brings
much of it is guess work

some of them hook us I think because they are also in limbo
and unsure of their next move

Oh yes, I think he is in limbo. At some point, I need to figure out how to say the door is open....because one of his issues is that once he "makes a decision" he's too stubborn and/or proud to admit he's changed his mind. I'm worried that even if he feels doubt, he will stick with his original decision just out of pride or embarrassment. Which is a shame.

Once I get back from Nova Scotia, we'll finish the refinance. That increases his cash flow significantly. So...will he move out? Interesting. He's got it good right now at his sister's, so really not feeling the effects of any of this (other than he "missed me on his birthday"). Looks like he's cake eating at both places!