Again so sorry you're going through this once more.
I'm newer here, but I've always used blatant honesty in approaching my W during this time. It has gotten me hellfire and brimstone raining down, but i didn't care - if I wanted to know I asked or told anyway and suffered the consequences.
I can't tell you what to do, and I wouldn't think to do that. But you might consider laying it all out on the table. I think there has to be a real danger of loss.
Whether she absorbs it or not is up to her, but I think at this point it will at least give you peace of mind in knowing you did everything you possibly could and said everything you possibly could.
Wish I could help more - hopefully some of the vets will chime.in here with more advice.
