Divorce because I betrayed her trust - I regret it

[DaB35]

Hi DS, thanks for your response.

So even though we aren't in the midst of D, just separated at the mo (although W has paid for D forms), don't text her at all?

This is what I find hard. I would constantly contact my W during the day, and she'd text me regularly when she was at work too. When she went away with friends, she'd often message me well into the early hours. One of the things I'm missing.

For thought patterns, I simply try to distract myself. I find myself thinking about something - it might just be a picture in my mind of my W smiling at me, or a nice memory we had together or an in-joke. I let myself have the thought - I don't hate my W at all. I hate the way she has reacted in such a small space of time, even though it is my problem/fault. But I know that i'm sorting myself out. I have hurt her, but I am remorseful. I'm fixing myself which is the most important thing.

Then after a minute I think: "what else makes me happy?" I think about my fave films, bands, listen to Spotify for an hour or so, watch some funny YouTube vids (I'm getting a bit obsessed with Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares videos lately - they're so oddly compelling!). This makes me smile - laughter is really good in these situations - and then I feel ok again and can get on with my day a bit better.

Does that help?