"when it's safe" does have a huge red flag hanging over it. Otherwise I wouldn't get concerned about it. Main thing now is not to let your emotions take over. Do what ever needs to be done but don't do anything you'll regret in the longrun. We are here for you bro! Keep posting! You got this!

Me:39 W:36
S:12 D:9
T:14 M:11
Separation:sep. 1 2017
D filed oct. 2017
D finalized july 2018
OM confirmed feb 2018
D finalized July 2018

The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.