Hey Harvey - long time since I checked in. That's what happens I guess. As we start to move on, we introspect less, and live more.
Anyway, you're doing well, despite "not being completely detached". Last time I checked in you were nervously dipping your toe into dating. It seems it took. I am so very very happy for you.
Re the possible affair. It's OK that it sent you into a spin. I don't think it's jealousy. I suspect its anger at the betrayal. At the lies and maybe even some left over resentment for putting you through the [censored] she put you through. You can feel angry at her and still not want her back. Damn, you can miss her and also not want her back at the same time.
Also, I just wanted to point out that you don't know it was going on before the break up. It could be recent. People need to move forward. Her and you. And you are dating too. I bet my last dollar that some nights that eats her up. Not regret. Just a little voice saying "how dare he".
You're dating 4 women at once !!!
That in itself must be a logistical nightmare
I'm really glad you've met someone that you think you might have a future with. I still find this part really hard. I can date, but there comes a point (maybe date 2 or 3) where I think I can't see myself introducing you to my kids , and something clicks, and either I or they or both of us end it.
In any case this is about you. You ask (or was the question rhetorical?) whether you should stop dating other people if you see a future with this one. Would you be upset if she was dating other people? Would she be upset if she knew you were?. If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then you need to either have the talk, or you simply stop dating other people and give this relationship a chance to work. If it doesn't, you know that the OLD's will still be there.
How are your girls? We had a bit of a hard time recently with D12 (now 13) and my H and I really came together to try and get her through it. I am grateful that he still prioritises them. She still has her days, but it's getting better. Teenagers !!!
