So I worked from home yesterday as I still wasn't feeling great. This morning I had more anxiety than I thought I would being away from her. As I was driving into work I had that old feeling about being away from her that occurred during our sitch a year and a half ago.
So I listened to marital advice podcasts all the way in to work. Had one related to pursuer-distancer dynamic. I think part of our issue may have been that I pulled back a bit in my work on the marriage. No where near as bad as I was pre BD, but still could have been more diligent and attentive. That said, I'm wondering if I should pull back a bit now. My inclination since the discovery of the email was to become very attentive. Even successfully initiated sex yesterday morning. But maybe I need to back off. I guess this time is different because she didn't ask for space, like she did during our such last year. I think distancing could do more damage.
I do think a good 180 for me is to observe this thing from afar. I think the reason gathering more Intel is important is because I'm pretty sure that if she had another EA, I'm done. Been through it twice now, 3rd time will be the final strike. Maybe my feelings will change if this is a real flare up, but in the past I've not been patient enough to observe and see how far it would go. Granted this guy lives hours away in another country, and it's likely that it's just her getting her craving for being wanted from afar, but I'm going to work observe and then make a decision based on what I ultimately find. But likely this would be the last straw.
Any and all feedback and advice, as always, is welcome.
Last edited by Steve85; 08/27/1912:36 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
