13 Let's hope it isn't starting again

[hoosjim]

.i insisted I wasn't, but later apologized to her. I explained that I hadn't felt great that day ( I didn't) and should have been more tolerant of the things that had made me withdraw

I am going to share something, here, and some may find it neanderthal, but I have actually found it useful. In all of my "alpha male" reading and reconnecting, I came across one widely read blog that made it a point to say "men don't apologize"... They may acknowledge that "mistakes were made", or even rarely that "I can and will do better" but "'i was wrong' and 'I'm sorry' should never cross your lips."

Now, honestly, there is a Little hyperbole and tongue in cheek, there, but also a grain of truth. Women admire strength (alpha male, right?) Now, I will still actually "apologize" if warranted, but I am much more measured and restrained in doin g so than I used to be. Unless I have really screwed up, and sometimes even then, I am much more apt to approach things from the angle of "I can see you're hurt/upset/concerned..."(if she in fact is--validation) OR "Hey look, I know I did ____________" (taking ownership--decisive, unafraid) And once the "validation/empathizing" or "acknowledgement" period is past: "I/we can fix this" or "I can do better". Much more Alpha. "I'm sorry" can often sound plead-y, or obsequious.

Go ahead and laugh... Women respond to this. I've seen it in my W and she has explicitly commented on it to me "You're so decisive/certain/assertive/etc." My sex life has improved by leaps and bounds.