13 Let's hope it isn't starting again

[hoosjim]

Hey Steve-- just thought i'd chime in while i was over here. Kind of weird how we both started piecing around the same time (March/April last year) and now about the same time we are both hitting little speed bumps. I sincerely hope and pray that yours ends up being as inconsequential as (I think) mine has.

That said, I agree with AnotherStander and some of the others on here... I think this has to be nipped in the bud and i think it has to be soon. While I remain convinced that my own sitch unfolded just "as it was supposed to", and that if we didn't go through the depths of the affair like we did that we would not have reconciled... IN A VACUUM, concerning the affair itself, i still understand that by not putting my foot down IMMEDIATELY upon finding out about the nascent EA that i allowed/enabled it to become much stronger and for my W to become much more enamored with OM. I literally saw it happen.. it went from almost innocent flirtation and coy enjoyment of OM's blandishments and her saying "I dont think we could ever go out or be together, etc" to, three months later, her sobbing tearfully on the phone with him "I just want to jump on you and run away with you and almost can't bear to come in and see you because I know i wont be able to leave." It happens... intimacy leads to connection and the hormonal drug-like "high" they get gets stronger the closer AND HARDER TO BREAK the longer it goes on and the closer the relationship gets. By the time i finally did put my foot down with my W, it took almost a year for her to get completely "over" the other relationship... and it's possible that she might never had if one or two things had gone differently.

You need to act.

You have enough experience now to handle this smoothly, confidently, and adroitly, and Sandi2 who has also chimed in is the expert and can backstop you on this.