Thanks all, I appreciate the notes and encouragement. I really, really do.
I'm a bit on edge today because I'm effectively homeless for a few weeks, and that just messes with your routine and sense of normal. I'm still a bit behind on sleep. I want some private space. It was an insane weekend of packing and work. I'm not eating the veggies I should be and the sugar content is at astronomical levels (I had a Klondike bar for breakfast sooo......).
But, I also am starting to feel a bit calmer in that I am now officially OUT of the house. I loved that house, but it was time to go. And I'm no longer surrounded by her things. This will be very good.
She's effectively out of my life again, and we have no need to communicate except for the D. I can now manage our communications in whatever way I choose, and I don't really have to see her if I don't want to. She said we would have to for the D, but I don't know that I do. I see no reason to not just have it go through our lawyers.
It's not that I don't want to see her or do want to see her - it's that I have my power back. I'm in a place where I can decide what's best for me. She can't surprise me. I'm not telling her where I will be living. I want my privacy.
The only pending piece is what happens with the property equity. I will be curious how that plays out in the decree. After that piece is done I can truly do whatever I want - play nice, play mean, not play at all. That choice and that freedom is what I'm waiting on. I'll be "not playing at all", if you're curious.
I do feel calmer when she's gone. Let her take her journey. Maybe in a few years I'll be able to forgive and we can be friends. Maybe not. But I don't have to decide today. All I need to do today is live for me.
