I have been having similar experiences in various forms since BD. I dont necessarily think it is the universe messing with you - I think it's more that you (or I) am getting in tune with people who are going through similar circumstances.
Maybe it's just the weird feeling of connecting with people. I had sort of shut myself off for awhile, playing the husband/father role and thinking it was pointless to connect because I would never have time or energy for other people.
Originally Posted by IronWill
It also may be - at least in part - our brains attempting to problem solve. There was a person in our lives for a long time, and now there is not. Therefore brain seeks to fill that void.
There is a darker side to this I didn't mention in the post. This woman was attractive, not a stunner, but attractive in ways that I like. It was blatantly obvious she wanted me to ask for her number. Had I been single or D'd it would have been a complete no-brainer.
The NGS alarm bells were clanging. Seeking a woman's approval. Believing another person will fill a hole in your life. Rose-colored classes. All of it.
I may end up D'd, but I absolutely can not, will not, repeat history. I'm going to have to get my mind straight.
Perhaps the universe (or God or whatever one believes in) is really really clever and threw this test my way to get me thinking...
Originally Posted by IronWill
Or it may just be random circumstance.
Objectively it has to be random.
It doesn't feel random.
Originally Posted by IronWill
One thing I started doing that has helped me a lot has been to ask myself "What am I supposed to be learning from this?" whenever I encounter situations or conversations that strike me as interesting or unusual.
I dont get the answer right away many times, but sometimes a few days later I get that "aha" moment.
I've been thinking about what you said here for almost an hour.
I feel the most detached I have ever felt from my W. Yesterday when I video chatted with my kids she got on the call and, details not important, upset S7 unnecessarily and was telling him "Mom and Dad are on the same page." I was sitting there thinking, "This is completely unnecessary, I really dislike how she handles these things, we could talk on the side, now S7 is hiding out in his room, I am absolutely not on the same page." She was all stirred up and then saying she had a lot to do to get ready for the week... and I was thinking, she makes it harder than it needs to be. She is high strung and controlling. I saw W on Friday and felt zero attraction to her. I just don't want to be around her. I don't want to interact with her. I don't want to talk about custody or financial issues or house repairs or anything. I'm tired of the negativity of every interaction.
And then this grocery store woman comes my way...
It raises SO MANY questions:
- How far detached am I? - Am I still hoping for a woman to make me feel complete? - Do I realize that I have value to other people? - Am I doing right by my kids? - Can I look past the negativity of the current situation today, and see a path where things improve in my MR?
