I told you that could happen. IDK, but maybe it was a big step for her to initiate sex. In the past, would she initiate often? Did she have a healthy sex drive?
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I don’t behave any differently at all? Touching massage etc.?
I think we are all trying to tell you to stay in the middle of the spectrum and don't go too far on either end. I suggest you mirror her actions the next couple of days. I am hesitate to tell you this, b/c I don't want you using her actions as a measuring technique for your own behavior. Anyway, if she touches you in a non-sexual or non-intimate way........then you follow likewise. If she complains with back pain, it's okay to ask her if she would like a massage, but don't start touching her in those intimate areas, if she has clearly not encouraged you. In other words, until you have a better idea of what she wants, you let her initiate or encourage you to engage in sex, cuddling, making out, whatever.
The recent sex was probably awkward b/c both of you were trying to get a read on each other's feelings. Maybe she was checking your emotional temperature, or maybe she was checking her own feelings.........IDK. She could have just been horny..........but I think you could tell, right? I still say when a woman gives her man those long, deep, wet, open mouth, tongue kisses.........that's a good sign! But don't get over focused on that right now. I'm just saying.
Stay calm and balanced. If your W has seen positive changes in you and she is trying to make a move to see if her feelings might change, then you respond positively to her. Just don't go ape over having sex one time. Don't get clingy and start hoovering over her and making her feel like she can't breathe. Remember her saying she just wanted you to leave her alone. That's a woman who feels suffocated. Too many demands on her and too much stress. I think she likes the changes you've made b/c you've not been breathing down her neck. She has a few moments alone. Therefore, your job is to stay balanced in your behavior around her, and stay balanced in your head.
I want to remind you again, Oz, I am giving you advice based on not seeing behavior that suggests she is wayward. However, I can only go by what you report in your posts. So I am going to ask again if she is showing respect for you while in the presence of your child, relatives, friends, and when together in public. I remember you said it had happened a while back when she was putting you down, but then you said it stopped. Has there been any other occurrences? If so, then please let me know.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
