Thanks Family Man. You are right and I think because we slipped into some 'normal' version of our R on vacation it carried over once we returned home. After BD and before I found out about the OW, I found detachment easier which sounds odd. He didn't want anything to do with me at all, no conversation at all etc etc from May to end of July when I found out about OW. I became stronger but seem to have relapsed with the new situation of knowing the truth.
He does behave like my son generally. Doesn't take responsibility for much. Everything has always been someone else fault. I pay all the bills on time, file his tax returns etc and sort his accounts (which I have stopped doing). He has walked over me for far too long.
Thanks Yorkie, you are right he is disrespecting me. If he brings up the R should I say that I will not discuss the R while the OW is still on the scene? H also keeps asking why I am not trying or making the effort so I need a good answer as I can't really ignore it. So a similar answer to the OW being on the scene?
During this journey so far he has brought up the lack of love from his parents and with his Dads passing last year I think this is a big issue. I just tried to listen when he started talking about this. He then linked it to me by saying that he won't put up with lack of love from me and deserves someone who shows it. I just said I understood how he feels.
In regards to the marital bed - I allowed him to stay in it to protect the children, he would be on the sofa and the kids would ask why. So I'm not sure how to best handle it.
He is quite controlling generally anyway. E.g I cleared our daughters room to make way for a new bed and furniture as she has outgrown it and he has put everything back and told her and me that she will not be getting a new bed.
Thanks for all the advice. You are all keeping me sane and positive.
