He is insistent at every opportunity to talk about the R, his feelings. How I haven’t been there for him and he feels unloved and unwanted. That we had not much conversation etc.
Early on after BD before I found out about ow I took responsibility for all these things, agreed that I had allowed these things to happen and hat gaps had been left for an affair to take place. I apologised and said that although I couldn’t take anything back I could only work moving forward. That was before I found you guys so I’m not sure if what I did was good or bad.
He is saying now that I said all this stuff and agreed with where I had gone wrong in the R and that I’m not doing anything to change those things. Which I haven’t been doing as these are things like more conversation, more affection, etc etc because I am detaching.
If I say “I understand how you feel” he repeats it back to me in the next breath like I’m playing a game, calling me a robot etc.
It’s becoming difficult to avoid the R talk and I’m getting a bit stuck on what to say differently. I talked a little about how I felt and that after discovering the ow I have been hurt and working through things.
He has also said that he will not put any effort in, why should he because he has for 2 years and been hurt and rejected. What should I say to this?
I have wanted to say that it needs two people with consistent effort to make change but I’m not sure what to say. If I say he needs to commit to the R then is that too much pressure?
