okay... i am home from work now... i think it's good that you noticed the red flags and you are not rationalizing them as much as you used to... i have been in these situations, and sometimes it was me really being deceitful, and sometimes it was me being in a situation that i had not planned, but was not brave enough to tell my husband... and i did behave the same way your wife has... overly affectionate, etc... once when this happened, and my husband was suspicious for maybe a day or two, he finally confronted me, and this pretty much what he said: "artista, you have tell-tale signs when you are hiding something... i gave you a chance to be open and honest with me, but so far you have not taken that opportunity..." i want to say that this happened twice after our reconciliation... the other time, while i was having lunch by myself at a sushi restaurant, he called me and asked me, "is our marriage over?" boom! i said, "no... why???" and he said he knew i was hiding something... and both times i came clean... both times it was silly of me to not be upfront with my husband... i had not done anything wrong, until i kept things to myself... perhaps you can tell her that she has tell-tale signs when she is hiding something...
