Look into default judgements. I don't know how much house and investment value you're talking about, but I think its a big mistake not to get any spousal. You can document income loss because you have your son full-time. In the future she may and probably will fight get 50-50 and your child support is gone, but don't expect her to ever pay for any of his expenses and you will still be taking up all the slack with your time. In that case you are in trouble.
I suggest you talk to your L about going straight to filing with spousal at the value of your forfeited income. Usually these become default judgements if she doesn't respond in 30 or 60 days. File and never say a word about it to her again.
I absolutely guarantee you that she is seeing someone and is totally in limerence based on her behavior. I can also guarantee you that it wont last and she will go from ignoring jac to hating jac very soon. You want to get everything final before that happens.
And you know what, if you still want to reconcile with whatever it is she becomes through this...think about what she can gain in reconciliation versus how she will end up divorced. People who get bulldozed in the divorce are always more open to reconciliation than those who make out like bandits.
