4 months in....(Re: Advice needed)

[peacetoday]

Kirsty

this is a tough situation

I would first try to get myself together
through prayer, meditation, set up a counseling appointment for you
breathing, listen to a positive u tube video or a few (Joel Olsteen)
Listen to an alanon or Coda meeting online or even bring up a topic of detachment
meetings are on phone constant from any location check online
get support here through counseling or where you currently go-

get finances in order..get legal advise asap if you have not

Chances are the kids already know stuff is going on ( I forget the ages)
At the very least..You can explain to them that sometimes adults and parents go through struggles
and right now you love them very much and will always be here for them
but you are tryng your best to help the M

and its not their fault..you are trying to work it out
sometimes M dont work out..ect..
no blame on him..they will understand all this soon enough..but for now, my opinion is keep it neutral until you see where this is going

At the same time, in private, I would ask him for more time to adjust
to keep the kids out of anything regarding this
let him leave first..them the kids can know he is leaving
If he has to leave...let him move out
trust me the energy in your home will be 1000% better and you will get stronger without his constant threat of leaving

If you suspect any OW meeting, I would validate his choice to leave
as his choice..and ask to keep the kids out of it for now-

Kindly, ask him for more time..but allow him to transition out first
explaining if he moves out first..gives everyone time to adjust
get some counseling for kids to adjust
then the counselor can recommend the next moves(OW) ect...
just buy some time

chances are the OW is also in MLC and if she is leaving her H and also has kids, there might be a lot of drama here-