Wait, you are still considering going through with an adoption???? NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. This is NOT a mess you want to bring a child into. FIRST resolve ALL your issues and reconcile if it's in the cards, THEN reconsider adoption. The timing for that is all wrong.
EDIT- and if you and/ or your W have any thoughts that maybe adopting a child will somehow resolve your problems and bring you closer, no it will not so put that out of your minds. It will only make your existing problems worse.
