Divorce because I betrayed her trust - I regret it

[DaB35]

Thanks Unchien.

I'm loving NMMNG - I'm not exactly like everything the author describes but a good number of features ring true certainly. Definitely the whole trying to please, and keeping secret anything that deviates from the outward 'nice guy' persona.

I do apologise if I'm coming across defensive. Like I said before, not liking failure! I do understand that it won't be a quick fix.

My W feels really hurt, and I miss her, I still ove her very much, I don't hate her at all, I rarely got annoyed with her in the 8 years we were together actually.

Yes of course she had her annoying quirks that she'd do round the house or certan things she'd say, but they were very minor.

I am remorseful of my actions. The shame has gone now I think - that was what was fuelling the addiction (act out, feel guilt, go back to normal life, when next alone feel shame, act out to remove that feeling of shame, and so on).

I understnad how hurt she is - she basically thought I was a certan type of guy, but then discovered I was cocnealing something. She even said "if you had got help or sorted it out, I'd have never known, and everything would be fine." I felt so stupid! Anyway - remorseful is where I feel I'm at.

I do appreciate everyone who's commented on here. It's been a great source of advice and a soundboard.