Other then some missed opportunities to validate I don’t think you did that bad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with standing your ground. I’m glad you told her you want 50/50 custody. When decisions are based on emotions there are sure to be consequences.
Try very hard to not become obsessed with her comment that YOU clearly don’t want to work on the marriage. She’s projecting. You’re kinda in a tough spot because right now it seems remaining separated Is her best option right now and that is going to mean you remain in limbo.
Thanks LH. I definitely could have recognized she was in an emotionally charged state and stepped back a bit. I felt at some point I have to make it clear I would want 50/50, I saw an opening last night, and I took it. I'm expecting some blowback from this. Oh well.
The custody and financial discussions, as painful as they are, are actually helping me deal with limbo. I figure if we end up D'ing, hashing out as much as we can upfront is better now. And in the process, we are having to have difficult conversations, so there are opportunities to validate, etc. I am gaining some clarity from how my W deals with these discussions as well.
It's clear to me the ball is completely in my W's court. She knows it, she resents it, she feels pressure, and with her current mindset, any realistic path to R would take years. I truly believe that. She's had 6 months of IC to date and I see no change.
