I’ve decided I’m not a huge fan of long distance relationships. They feel so all or nothing. Either you are around each other 24/7 or you are not around each other at all. It is hard to stay balanced in a lot of ways the way one would if you were in the same town and seeing each other a few hours at a time. Jack came over Friday night and stayed until Tuesday morning. As usual, we had a great time together but now he’s gone back home and communication between us is limited to the odd text about nothing in particular. I find myself thinking about the viability of our relationship long term and whether or not I am just setting myself up to get my heart broken. We are so different and the rational part of my mind is on overdrive when he is not around. When we’re together, I don’t think about our differences much at all although nagging doubts are starting to creep in.
Reading about Ginger’s sitch with M has heightened my awareness around relationship dynamics and I see myself in her and Jack in M. Jack isn’t nearly as rigid about how he spends his time but he is a self-professed “loner” who seems to not need much of anyone or anything when he is on his own. He swims and writes music and records basically. I am pretty opposite to that. I’ve come to appreciate alone time much more than I ever have but I still prefer the company of others to my own if given a choice 90% of the time. The concept of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole has crossed my mind more than once.... as has the concept of borrowing trouble when, objectively, there isn’t any. I’m worried that I’m a lot more needy than I like to think I am and that I have more work to do in that department. Seems like work that is never done...lol.
On a positive note. My kids came back from their dad’s yesterday and are with me until Friday. I’ve got some activities planned if the weather cooperates. Today is rainy though so kids are happy to stay indoors and just hang out with friends. Sigh...teenage years are just around the corner...
Anyway....just my musings for the day. I have a nail appointment and then need to spend some quality time with my babies. (((HUGS))) to all. xo
