You need to be patient. My ex took two and a half years to file for d after original bomb drop. Your at two and a half months. Your number one problem is you have a good day and your expectations skyrocket. Then you realize nothing has changed and then you become down again.
You certainly can ask her if she is in or out. My guess is that if you force her to make a decision it will end badly for you. There's a high probability she's at least having an EA. Her giving that up is like asking a crack addict to give up crack.
Focus on yourself and your son and the rest will eventually take care of itself. Time to set those expectations at zero and detach and move forward.
