WHEW. That was intense. H wanted to talk about starting to pick D4 up at school on his days with her, rather than at my house. I’m proud to say that despite feeling intensely triggered, I talked about it calmly, validated a bunch and casually agreed to what he proposed. He looked very surprised. Major 180 for me. He then brought up that he wants to attend the welcome back to school picnic. Again, triggering, as he never came to those kinds of things when we were together. He asked “is that weird?” I told him I’m surprised, because it’s new and different, so it’s weird in that way, but that I understand why he’d want to go. He seemed surprised again. He asked if it was awkward for me. I was honest, and said yes it is and I got a tiny but teary eyed. (That was not detached and I’m kind of annoyed at myself about it). He also got a bit teary talking about how he wants to be more involved in D4s life. He talked more about wanting to pick her up from school as she gets older (triggered). I was cool, calm and ALMOST “acted as if” the whole time. I’m proud of myself. Right after he left I got a very strong urge to text him about how he is welcome to be unlocked dinner D4s life every single day if he would just stop this. Don’t worry, I didn’t I feel a combination of very sad, relieved it didn’t turn into a big D convo, and proud of how I handled it.
