Onward and upward!

[DS9]

So I took your advice. I went and got some new shoes. Not the same style I would normally wear. Got some new shirts and shorts. Changing up my look some. Made me feel pretty good. I’m gonna try to revisit the hair next. Difficult with the radiation damage but I’ll figure something out.
Oz

Hey Oz. Nice one mate. If you've got one of those name brand 2nds outlets near you, go there for clothes and accessories - cheap, unique and variety. Depending on your age, budget, physique and fitting in with your community style (rural, urban etc), you cant go wrong with several quality cotton fine knit polo shirts instead of t-shirts (Target is ok if you have limited choice). Go a little smaller size than usual, especially if you have a good physique, and get the ones with the elasticated bit at the end of the sleeve, esp if you have good biceps.

Ditch the boardies and go with those above knee swimming/active style shorts and colour match with the top you wear (google colour matching). Less casual would be those denim/cotton material 'cargo/chino' shorts, but without those big square flappy pockets at the bottom front. Try to wear colours that highlight your eye colour (you can google this). Try thin small knit cotton v neck sweaters - again, tight fit to accentuate. Match with chino style pants, or stylish jeans. Go for 'slim fit' style clothes, subject to whether you have a beer gut of course lol! Don't fear tasteful floral or light pink tops, polos etc. Don't worry if your mates bag you - I bet they'll eventually copy you.

Ditch the pluggers and get quality thongs or better, stylish man sandals, or even nice leather casual slip ons. If more formal, try the elastic side style boots (RM Williams style but far sleeker) and get in tan and black colours and keep them polished. Brand is Shaw & Smith from Mathers - currently on sale - they look great! I wear them to work.

Unless your W likes long hair, cut it and keep it trim and styled. I get mine done every 3 weeks now. Before it would be once every 1.5 mths. Remember what style your wife liked, then change it a little. If your wife likes a beard, grow it but trim every day. I got a Schick trimmer/razor combo from Woolies on special for $10. Trim your eyebrows, nose, ears, nails etc.

Cologne! Cologne Cologne! I'd only use on special occasions but now drown in it. I like Cool Water, Tabac or 4711. look for specials at your local chemist and stock up. If cologning, avoid overly smelly deodorant and get a neutral smell roll on for perspiration. Subject to budget, try for a new good brand chronograph wrist watch in metal.

If like me your modest ego took a punch to the guts then a kick on the way down, you will feel a lot better wearing the best you can as often as you can on the budget you can afford! Stick your chest out, back straight, and without looking like an ape, walk around like you're carrying a barrel under each arm!

Do all of the above, especially if you're going to run into or see your wife's family/friends etc. It will be relayed - trust me. Do not ask your wife if she noticed you bought new stuff, changed your style, or if she likes it.

Maybe think about adding something to your home too? Nice glass vase and some lillies in your own little corner of the house smell and look great. Maybe make a terrarium (or several) with your kids and chuck it on the kitchen bench. I'm in my own rental since a few months ago - I went all out buying homewares, decorative pieces, oriental ornaments, furniture etc. I didn't realise how much I loved this stuff, and it made me feel better, apart from the fact that my XW was a home deco wiz and I wanted to 'out G the G'. Domestically too, especially make sure you keep the toilet lid down, blu loo topped up, toilet paper the right way and roll holder always stocked. Ask me if you want any 'domestic' tips if this is one of your 180's.

Hope this helps. Good luck mate!

She was letting her head droop and visibly enjoying it. She had just stepped out for a cigarette and it was done. It was past S’s bedtime and she wanted to get to bed too. Now saying that I did wonder if I took it a touch too far with the hand thing. It just seemed like it might be ok cause she put her hand in mine the other day for me to rub it.

But AnotherStander i think you might be right as well. The last thing I want to do is pressure her.

Before my XW ended it, I was often her 'personal groomer', tweezerer, and moisturiser applier, shoe putter onner etc etc,. After, this all stopped. A few times, she asked me to check something on her etc, whihc I did in a businesslike fashion. A little while ago she asked me out of the blue to check something on the back of her neck. This type of thing pre BD would usually lead to me roaming elsewhere, which she loved. As it was, I brushed my finger lightly over the area, looked, there was nothing there, I told her so, then walked off. In my view, keep it businesslike, don't show any pleasure or excitement if she asks you to do it and when doing it, and end the task without going further "all done W". Maybe even try saying sorry my fingers are sore/tired/cold. Cheers.