Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

So H texted he wanted to come up tomorrow to pick some items up with BIL (brother-in-law) to take to the other property (the ranch). He also said we should talk about the mortgage situation. I said that would be fine, he asked what I thought, I said I thought that since the consumer debt had to be dealt with anyway, we should look at the refinance as the monthly bill would help both our cash flow.

Then he said he wanted to take the truck and RV up to the ranch. As far as I'm concerned, the truck/RV/Boat/Suzuki are the 4 main vehicle assets under discussion. I said "until we've sorted out ownership, I think all assets should stay here". He said "I thought you said you were okay with it". I said "I understand that is what I said, but I've reconsidered. I think we need to discuss it". He got a little cranky, but I was calm! I said "truck needs tires, has an oil leak, if it's going to end up being mine, I don't want it going anywhere". So he asked if we would split the repairs, I said no. We need to discuss ownership.

Then the dog-she's due for repeat x-rays on a tooth she damaged. We will also discuss who is taking her to the vets' (specialist-3 hrs drive). He wants to take her to his sister's, and I'm okay with that as the separation agreement states "joint ownership until we decide differently".

When discussing the vehicles, I did get to say "H, you are the one who decided to step out of the marriage, and as part of that we need to decide who actually owns what".

He got cranky, I stayed calm! I've very proud of myself! Hope I can do the same tomorrow. I even validated a couple of things he said! I didn't cry, or waver!

I'll even make iced tea so i can offer BIL (and H) a glass while we're discussing whatever we're going to discuss tomorrow, and even though I'll be fixing fencing, I will still look fabulous! I can really rock a wide brimmed sunhat.